


The Ache

by strawfurries



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Purring Trolls (Homestuck), Trolls Have Tails (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27128465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawfurries/pseuds/strawfurries
Summary: Nepeta has been traveling with Sollux, Aradia, and Feferi through dream bubbles for some time now, waiting for her morail to come find her. When she realizes he won't be coming, she has a break down. But, her friends comfort her
Relationships: Nepeta Leijon & Aradia Megido, Nepeta Leijon & Feferi Peixes, Sollux Captor & Nepeta Leijon
Kudos: 5





	The Ache

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written in a while, and I am very proud! Constructive criticism is always welcome. I want this story to be good.

Nepeta finally decided that she had to accept it. It being the truth, and the truth being that Equius was not coming to find her.

She was curled up, balling her eyes out, head on her pal Sollux's lap as he sat criss cross applesauce. She shook and she shuttered, olive-colored tears sliding down her face with each agonized sobs, pieces of her hair clinging to her face in weird stripes; she held her knees up to her chin, her arms wrapped around them, and squeezed. She squeezed and she squeezed and she squeezed, trying to remember what it felt like to be in the blueblood's strong arms.

She now had hundreds of thousands of memories of Equius, many of which were of him holding her. When she’d first become a ghost and had started traveling from dream bubble to dream bubble, unlocking various memories of her other selves, she was grateful; she got to see adventures she’d been on with friends that hadn’t taken place in her reality, roleplay sessions she’d wanted to try out but never got to, and even eventually confessing her flushed feelings for Equius. She knew that if she met him, or a version of him, she’d get to do the same. She knew if they were meant to be that’d they’d meet up somehow. It made sense to her - she was a professional shipper, after all. But now she knew to give up on that dream. Equius was nowhere to be found. She had no idea how long she’d been hopping from dream bubble to dream bubble (the passage of time changes drastically when you’re dead) but she’d spent a good chunk of it looking for him. And now she’d spend the rest of it mourning what could have been.

Sollux laid a hand on her head and ran his fingers through the hair draped down her neck. He let out a solemn but understanding sigh and pulled the wet pieces away from her face and tucked them behind her ear. "I'm sorry, Nep. I really am."

She lifted a balled up hand to her face and whiped away some snot dribbling down from her nose, and then some tears away from her eyes, smearing the wetness and goop together. "Why would he do this?" She wailed, "Why wouldn't he want me."

“I’m not sure.” said Sollux. He continued to play with her hair.

Feferia knelt down beside Nepeta, using one hand to rub her back and the other to clutch the blue beanie that distraught huntress had chucked on the ground earlier. Aradia was standing yet, and she looked down at them with a vague expression. 

Fef smiled delicately, eyes shining with hope. She grinned fully before saying, “Hey, Nep, you don’t know if he’s still out th… ere.” She trailed off when she noticed the near identical glances that Sollux and Aradia had cast her.

Aradia’s glare smoothened out and she crawled across the grass to get closer to her friend. “He’s a chump, Nepeta. A total chump,” she put it bluntly. “You have no reason to waste tears on him,” She leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. As she pulled away, she stifled a grimace from the salt that’d just entered her mouth.

Nepeta giggled at that, still crying. “Yeah,” she said between forceful sobs, “he is.” She smiled, but it didn’t hold; it fell as quickly as it came. She wiped more tears away from her face and sniffed. “I don’t get it,” she said, voice small and quiet, “I don’t get why he wouldn’t come for me. I thought he…” She trailed off, not able to physically finish the sentence. She began to cry again, this time less violently, but still mournful.

Feferi opened her arms up, and Nepeta shot right up into them. She cried and she cried and she cried, burying her face into her shoulder. She closed her arms around her, holding her tight. Feferi felt herself become choked up, but she held it in. She had to stay strong for her friend. She ran a large hand through Nepeta’s hair as best she could, her palm nearly the size of the tiny but strong girl’s head.

It reminded Nepeta so much of Equius, but she didn’t say it. It just hurt to think about, so she tried to focus on how good she smelled. Feferi always smelled like the ocean. So much better than Equius, who was sweaty all the time.  _ Who am I kidding _ , she thought, I loved the way he smelled. Even if it was gross to everyone else.

Feferi got up off the ground and held Nepeta like she was a baby. She began to sway back and forth, smiling.

Nepeta stopped crying, a wave of peace washing over her. A rumblous purr started in her throat, much deeper and louder than you’d expect from a troll her size.

Feferi began to purr as well, leaning down to nuzzle Nepeta. She began to sway a little faster.

Sollux smirked and Aradia smiled wide, both aware of what was about to happen.

Feferi began to spin, the hem of her dress swirling up around her. Nepeta began to giggle, and eventually laughed all the way. Feferi began to laugh as well, each chuckle followed by a snort.

Aradia and Sollux watched them spin and spin and spin, the latter glancing away as he felt himself become queasy.

Nepeta’s heart swelled with joy as she watched the world around her become distorted by her pal spinning her about. Everything was okay for a few good moments, and she basked in the joy of it all. As her friend slowed to a stop, she felt the painful emptiness in her chest resume, and her smile falter once again. It was going to be a long millenia.


End file.
